Since we have come to be as One, shadowiness of my heart wedded itself to the light. Like lustrous amber in a blaze, likeness in the breeze of changes, I am a disciple of Love, ever since that day. My vocation is to learn all the faces of Us…
Love is what makes the world go around. Not just love for your partner, but for the life itself and every living thing on the planet, including yourself. When we are filled with love and compassion for our parents, people in the street, coworkers… colors of life take on a more beautiful, vibrant shade. And most of the time, it is so easy to do. Whatever you see, experience or hear, do it with love in your heart and a smile on your face.
But if love is such a pure and beautiful feeling, why are we so afraid of it? The answer lies in expectations that we have: of life in general, ourselves, our partner and people around us. And we are so terrified of losing control and being hurt. You silly thing, what you fail to realize is that you didn’t have control in the first place. What is a control, anyway? It is an illusion that something is going according to your plan. Who are you to have a plan? Wouldn’t it be nicer if you could relax, appreciate and accept life, for all that it has to offer? To love unconditionally? No matter what?
I was very fortunate to grow up in the family that always cherished love and trust, above anything else. Sometimes I used to wonder how in the Earth my parents were letting me do all these things. Haven’t they cared? Or they had (and still do) such amount of trust and love to give, that they believed that I would choose a right path? I tend to joke and tell people that I have hippie parents, because love is always a guiding light for them.
So when my friend recently told me her doubts about a relationship, I had to smile. Not because I thought ill of her or that I am better, but because the answer was so clear to me. How can you think that anything but utterly, unconditionally loving someone can be an answer? Give yourself in, 100%, feel the love, be the love. Trust it. Trust in your partner. Only then you can truly experience the divine that love and unity can offer. And yes, in some cases, even all our love, trust and effort won’t be enough. But what if it is? What if all that relationship needed was a guide, someone to believe in it? And even sometimes, after everything, things can turn out badly. No matter the hurt, time heals any wound. Knowing that you gave it your best, your heart and soul, should be a consolation. So that you can never be left wondering: “Could I try harder? Would it be different if I had more faith and gave it all?”
When you want to experience the blessings of love and happiness in life, you have to accept things as they are, not as you want them to be. Before all, you must love yourself unconditionally. To open the door of your heart for all that you are. Be kind to yourself. That way, you can be gentle to life, to your partner and liberate yourself from false hopes and expectations. See life for what it really is and celebrate it.
This post was inspired by a great talk from Buddhist teacher, Ajahm Brahm: Forms of Love.