I tried… I really did… For a while, almost got myself to believe I can be like them… It can never happen… I find a company in you and all days and years of my solace finally made sense… I was waiting for you without even knowing it… And now that you’ve found me we can together discover our true path and know peace… At last!
A few days ago I had a conversation with one of my coworkers. She was sort of teasing me about my cat avatars everywhere. I don’t mind, it is good-hearted fun and I am aware that I’m a crazy cat lady. She mentioned that at her previous job she had a coworker who was as enthusiastic about cats as I am, maybe even more. For him, she said, there couldn’t be greater joy, but to get away from this all: modern life, jobs, technology… To live in some wild, surrounded by nature and… you guess right, cats 🙂
What really struck me as interesting is the way she was saying that like it’s a bad thing. But while she was describing this to me, I saw it. I felt it. The immeasurable amount of serenity and peace. Fulfillment. For a moment it got me wondering: what’s wrong with her? How come she could not see the bliss that kind of life brings? Don’t get me wrong. She is an amazing professional, doing so many things, being so ambitious and thirsty for more knowledge. I am sure that will bring her closer to her goals. And I am happy for her. She is a better swimmer in these modern, capitalistic waters than I will ever be.
I consider myself an old soul. I would rather gaze through the window, read a good book than go out on a Friday night. I like little things. Small joys that add color to life. Though it is nice to treat myself occasionally with some trinket, I am far from being a materialist. It is the joy I seek and for me, it is found in the simplest of the things. Being in nature, watching the river flows and listening to the ruffling of leaves. Holding Mladen’s hand, smiling to each other over some tasty salad or a smoothie. In those moments I feel like I got everything figured out and I have everything I could ever need. Bliss!
But I do make wrong turns. There is still so much to learn about myself, about life. Sometimes the world gets to me. I struggle, feel disappointed, I cry. It is a challenge living modern life with an old, sensitive soul. When I master that, I will rise above all my fears and really ‘walk the walk’.
We are all different, special and unique in our own way. Yesterday, I had an opportunity to listen to a beautiful speech that a great man gave at a gathering of raw vegans. His words, but most of all, his energy was intoxicating, full of peace and love. Finding our path, our true path is why we are here, on this Earth. To find that deep tranquility and love inside of us. To be present in now, to love everything and everyone around us. We have to be open to investigate and recognize our true selves. And when we finally do, to do everything in our power to stay true to that path.
Do you ever feel like that? A complete sense of fulfillment and gratitude? Incredible peace like you know the answer to every question out there? Trust in love for every living being? If you haven’t, don’t stop searching for that feeling. It is out there, you just need to find your path. Maybe you’re closer than you think.