“… Listen honey, can we use t…AAAAAAH! What happened to you?! You are totally white!
Oh, I knew this day would come. It’s not easy dealing with me on a daily basis, and for sure I am not making it any easier for you… But… So soon? A man would think that I would have at least a couple more decades of torturing you… Could the Man be wrong…?
What was the last straw? What pushed you over the line? What did I do this time?! Oh, tell meeeee!
Was it that 10th pair of headphones I made you buy me?
Was it that I locked the door accidentally and you couldn’t come inside last night?
Was it that I always bake and cook without protective gloves so I always burn myself and then you have to look after my burns?
I am certain that it’s not that I always spill Kombucha tea all over the carpet. Every day.
Is it that I snatched the pillow under your head, yet again last night?
Is it that I never iron my clothes and I could easily be happy wearing a potato sack? C’mon we laugh at that… Well, I laugh at least… Sometimes…
It was totally an accident when I turned off the light while you showered earlier.
Was it that I never wash my Bento Box after eating at work and then you are afraid that Gremlins would pop out of it in the evening?
Was it that you think that I sneaked out last week to buy another Blu-ray? No, I swear it was not that! I… I… I was with another woman…! You must believe me…!
Is it then that I’m not interested in other women? That I always orbit around you saying how beautiful you are, and that you are my goddess, and by doing that not letting you do any housework?
For sure I could be forgiven for always boring you with stories of how perfect you are and that you don’t need to go to the gym.
Was it that my soul is screaming in ecstasy, because every fiber of my being is in love with you? For eight years, now?
Is it that I keep talking like th……….And then yo………OK… Kissing is also good… Much better than me talki…………”