The best and prettiest thing you can put on your face is… SMILE!
I used to love makeup. I could spend countless hours in front of my computer, watching YouTube makeup gurus do their magic. At that point, I was already vegan, so I didn’t go too crazy with amounts of makeup I bought, but it was still enough to fill five small drawers.
Putting makeup on my face was something so inspiring and fulfilling. Creating that before and after effect always got me excited. Which eye shadow will I use, how will I combine the colors? Great inspiration, moderate skill, much patience and time were put into it all.
Don’t get me wrong, I was never one those made up girls who look like they have a tone of makeup on (not that I judge, to each their own). Most days my makeup would consist of some concealer, eyebrow pencil, mascara and a lip gloss. Sometimes, if I have time, I would add an eye pencil or an eye shadow.
With every new stroke and line on my face, I would feel my confidence rise. And I felt happy. I was so engulfed in that makeup world that on seeing some woman without makeup I would wonder why isn’t she wearing any? She would look so much prettier. That’s how smug and seduced I was with all that glitter.
One day, while talking with Mladen, my husband, I came to realize how tense I feel every morning on work days. Instead of taking it slowly, sitting down with him and drinking my smoothie, I would quickly dress up to go into the other room to put my makeup on while drinking my smoothie. All the while standing.
It finally dawned on me that I was putting unnecessary stress on myself, very first thing in the morning. And for what reason? So I could look ‘pretty’? So I could have confidence? I decided I was going to break that habit and go to work without any makeup on my face. “I can stop whenever I want to”. It was very hard on me. I believe that is how addicts feel. Obviously, I was an addict myself. On makeup. Yes. It may sound weird, but that day it was hard to see myself in the mirror. All I could see were flaws. My eyebrows too thin and light, acne scarring and skin discoloration.
But that day finally ended and I wanted to try my bare face routine for another day. Just to see how much I could last. The next day I felt similar, though I noticed fewer imperfections. I remember saying to Mladen that if I would only get a permanent makeup on my brows, I could be satisfied without wearing any makeup.
A few days passed and I started to forget the fact I am wearing no makeup. Not only that, but I started to like what I see in the mirror. All those imperfections were still there, but as a part of me, not something I wished gone.
What I realized from this experience was that by being more relaxed, I became more peaceful and happy. My perspective changed and I can just smile at myself in the mirror and like what I see. Zit or no zit. Inner peace and mindfulness are my makeup now. The best part: it’s free and I can create it myself!
I still love seeing beautiful makeup on others. And if you are one of those people who enjoy makeup don’t take this post the wrong way. There is nothing wrong with makeup. Some people are really good with it and they have enormous passion for that. That’s great! We should all find something that really gets us excited.
My attitude was wrong. I felt like I needed makeup to feel ‘normal’ and ‘confident’. Now I perceive it more as a form of art and not a social norm, something that you have to slap on your face every freaking day, just to look acceptable. Thank you, but I’m out!